Marriage SMS
→ Don't marry the person you want to live with...
Marry the one you cannnot live without...
But whatever you do, you will regret it later..
→ A Diplomatic Husband 2 Wife:
"Hw do U expect Me 2Remembr
Ur Birthday Wn U Nvr Look any Older"
→ Wife: where ‘ll you take me on our 10th anniversary?
Husband: We’ll go to African jungle safari.
Wife: Nice. And on our 25th anniversary?
Husband: I’ll bring you back.
→ Wife to Husband :
“You spent
6 nights creating a
45 minute Powerpoint
to explain Why You
Don’t have 5 minutes
to Clean out the Litter Box.?”
→ Santa bought a car on loan...
He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his car.
Santa: If I knew this,
I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!
→ They say that marriage makes a man dizzy, and it`s true. As soon as I got a wife, I lost my balance at the bank
→ A couple had a fight one night
Going to bed Husband says:
Good night mother of my 3 kids.
Wife Replied: Good night father of none.
→ Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
* In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
→ Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
→ Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
→ Q: Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
A: It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
→ Y a man carrzy his wife's photo in d wallet?
COZ whenever he faces trouble, sees d photo & thinks-If I can handle THIS i can handle anything!
→ After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
→ For the fools marraige are burden.Marraige is the happy begining of 3rd phase of life.It is to share responsibility,having ligal relations in society.Married life becomes happy when u see the smile on ur childs face!
→ A man, upon his engagement, went to his father and said, "Dad! I've found a woman just like mother"
His father replied, "So what do you want? sympathy?"
→ What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? -Well, it's the same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
→ Marriage is like a public toilet
Those waiting outside are desperate to get in
&
Those inside are desperate to come out..
→ True relatives always
stand behind u during bad times.
Check ur marriage album.
All your relatives were standing behind u!
→ A Tiger was giving wedding party to his frnds..
A Cat came there and danced.
Tiger asked who r u ?
Cat said: I was also a Tiger before my marriage.......
→ Why do Indian women want same husband in next life too??
.
.
Bcoz
.
.
Efforts taken by her to change him in this life will not b wasted!! ;-)
→ Wife: Last night I saw a dream that u were sending me jewelry and clothes! Husband: yeah, and I saw your dad paying the bill! Some people always throw stones in your path. It depends on you what you make with them. Wall or Bridge? Remember you are the architect of your life.
→ Wats the diff between Complete & Finished?
If u find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.
→ Angry Husband sends SMS to Father-in-law : Your Product not matching my requirements.
Smart Father-in-Law : "Warranty Expired..Manufacture not Responsible."
→ My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our
upcoming anniversary. She said, ‘I want something shiny
that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds!’ I gifted her
a weighing scale
→ Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest
and please so here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you.!!
→ Women Marry Because They Believe That He Will Change One Day . . . . .
Men Marry Because They Believe That She Will Never Change . . . .
Both Are Mistaken
→ My Advice To You Is To Get Married. If You Find A Good Wife You Will Be Happy; If Not You Will Become A Philosopher.
→ ''MARRIAGE''
Is Nature's Way
Of Preventing
''PEOPLE''
From Fighting With
''STRANGERS'' ... ;->
→ Secret of Happy Marriage - ACCEPT -
Attraction,
Communication,
Commitment,
Enjoyment,
Purpose,
Trust.
Follow these and dat home of urs will be heaven.
→ Love is one long sweet dream,
and marriage is the alarm clock
→ philosophy Of Life :
? At The Beginning Of Married Life, Every Girl Treats Her Husband As god,
Later On Somehow That Alphabets Got Reversed . . !
→ Q: During Marriage ceremony why is the
bridegroom made to sit on the horse?
A: He is given his last chance to
run away…!!
→ A little kid asks his Dad,
“Daddy, how much does
it cost to get married?”
“No idea,” replied the Father,
“I’m still paying for it…”
→ What a married man says after years of marriage:- My marriage is made of Trust & Understanding, she doesn’t Trust me & I dont Understand her.
→ Why do we all marry?
Because romance is not
the only element of life.
We should also know horror,
terror, suspense, irony,
stupidity & tragedy of LIFE.
→ First marriage is the triumph of
imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the
triumph of hope over experience
→ Grooms, once you marry,
please remember that when
you have a discussion
with your future wife,
always try to get the
last two words in: “Yes dear”
→ Brain is very important part of body,
It is active 24 hours
.
.
365 days,
.
.
it starts working, when you born
and work till you
.
.
.
.
Get Married…
→ The Equation of Marriage:
7 Glance = 1 Smile
7 Smile = 1 Meeting
7 Meeting = 1 Kiss
7 Kisses = 1 Proposal
7 Proposal = 1 Marriage -
And that 1 marriage has 77777+ problems.
So beware of glance!
→ Marriage is like going to
a restaurant your choice
from the menu,
And
then look at neighbourin
table n wish you”d ordered that…..
→ Some people ask the secret
of our long marriage.
We take time to go to a restaurant
two times a week.
A little candlelight, dinner, soft music
and dancing.
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
→ “When a man holds a woman hands?”
When a man holds a woman’s hand
before marriage, it is love;
after marriage it is self-defense
→ One day a man inserted
an ‘advertisement’ in the
local classifieds: “Wife wanted”.
Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
→ It’s funny when people discuss
LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.
It’s like asking someone,
if suicide is better or being murdered
→ Telling a lie is
Fault 4 a little boy
an Art 4 a lover
an Accomplishment 4 a bachelor
and a Matter of survival 4 a married man
→ Lawyer: “What was the first thing your husband
said to you when he woke that morning?”
Witness: “He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’”
Lawyer: “And why did that upset you?”
Witness: “My name is Susan.”
→ Man at medical store:I need poison
Chemist: I can’t sell you that
Man shows his marriage certificate
.
.
.
Chemist: Oh! sorry,
I didn’t knew u had a prescription.
→ After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife,
You know, I was a fool when I married you.
She replied, Yes dear, I know
but I was in love and didnt notice.
→ Man : Is there any way for long life?
Doctor : Get married.
Man : Will it help?
Doctor : No, but the thought of long life will never come.
→ Marriage is very important part of life.
You know why?
?
?
?
?
?
Because
“Life is not only about happiness”
→ Why Government do NOT
allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because per Constitution,
you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE
for the same Mistake.
→ Behind every Successful man
there is a satisfied woman.
But behind every satisfied woman.
there is an exausted man.
→ Before Marriage:-
He: yes! atlast it was so hard 2 wait
she:do you want me 2 leave?
He: No! don’t even think about it
She: do you love me ?
He:ofcourse! over n over!
She:have u ever cheated on me?
He:No!y r u even asking?
She:will u go on wid me on picnic?
He:every chance I get!
She:will u hit me ?
He:R u crazy?I’m not [...]
→ Man asked to his wife:
Where do you want to go for our anniversary?
She said: Some where I have never been!
Man said: How about the kitchen?
→ Q: If marriages are made in heaven,
than what are made in Hell?
Answer: The days after marriage!
→ Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
→ The most effective
way 2 remember
ur wife’s birthday
is 2 forget it once.
→ Evolution of Man:
Without Marriage “Spider Man”
On Marriage Day “Super Man”
After Marriage “Gentle Man”
If wife is beautiful then rest of life
.
.
.
.
“Watch Man”
→ Wife: You changed after marriage.
Husband: I’ve told you that
“I am not interested in Married womans”
→ Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
Can a woman make you a millionaire?
.
.
.
Yes! If you are a Billionaire..!!
→ A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.
A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND
→ Man 1: I do not want to marry.
Because I am afraid of all women.
Man 2: Get marry soon.
Then you will be afraid of
only one woman and start loving the rest
→ Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
→ What is the height of mixed emotion?
Your mother-in-law falls from the
7th floor on your brand new Mecedes
and you don’t know whether to laught or cry..!
→ There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it.
→ Wife to husband:
why are you walking around naked.?
Neighbors can see your things.
Husband: So what..!
Wife: They will think I married you for money.
→ Angel said: I can’t be everywhere to help you.
So I created Mother.
Devil Replied: Me to can’t be everywhere.
So I created Mother-In-Law.
→ Different Phases of a man:
After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman
→ Best way to purpose a girl.
Take her to sea,
Say her to sit in a boat.
Then take the boat in the middle of sea.
Then say Marry Me
or
Leave My Boat.
→ A man walking down a street heard a voice.
“if you take 1 more step,
a brick will fall down and kill you.
He stopped & a brick fell before him.
He went on,
while crossing road he heard again stop,
just a car missed him.
Man asked who are you?
I am your guardian angel”
Man said, Where were you when I got [...]
→ There are many brave men
who are adventurous and
are never afraid to fight.
Some join army,
others get married … ;-
→ Marriage Advice
Whenever you are wrong admit it
Whenever you are right shut up
Most successful
Happy married life is
Defined as.
.
.
.
Yet to be seen.
→ A Couple Before Marriage
"MAD" For Each Other ...
After Marriage
"MADE" For Each Other ...
And
A Few Years Later
"MAD" Because Of Each Other.
MuM: Have you brought the matches home? Son: Yes! Mum: Are they working??? Son: Yes! I have try up all the fire macthes... It's working.
→ KNOWING YOURSELF
Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
→ WHO YOU TRUST
There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
→ GRATEFUL
Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
→ WASTING YOUR TIME
Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
→ THE WORLD
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world
→ FIRST SIGHT
FiRsT NiTe, FiRsT SiGhT, I SaW, I KnEw, LoVe's SwEEtEr ThAn MoUnTaiN DeW, A pRoMiSe I mAdE and' WiLL kEEp, 2 LoVe YOU aLwAys~
→ VALUE OF LOVE
LovE is Not HoW LonG U've BeeN 2gEthEr; nOt HoW MucH U've GIvEn oR RecEivE; Not hOw MaNy TimEs U've HeLpEd EaCh OthEr --- Its HoW U VALUE EaCh OtHEr...
→ STILL LOVING U
i håtê Smî|îÑg jûSt tO prEtêñD î'M ñOt hUrt. î hÅtE to gîGglê tO Show î'll ßê okåY. î hAtE tO laUgh aFtEr î Cry. í Stìll lovE YOU ßût í'Vé tó SaY gooDbYê...
→ NEWSPAPER
Some newspapers publish untrue news, but there is one thing that is true. What is it? >>> Date <<<
→ NEVER REGRET WHAT YOU DO
Don't regret what you've did, but regret what you never did, go and say 'I LOVE U' to your loved one!
→ YOUR FUTURE
The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't get on well in life until you let go of past failures and heartaches.
→ UNTIL IT'S GONE
It's true that we don't know what we've got until it's gone, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
→ NEEDS
Every girl wants one guy to meet all her needs, while every guy wants all the girls to meet his one need.
→ HUGGING YOU
Last night I hugged my pillow and dreamt of you... I wish that someday I'd dream about my pillow and I'd be hugging you.
→ CHARACTER VS REPUTAION
Be MorE Concerned AbouT YouR CharacteR ThaN YouR ReputationN BecausE YouR CharacteR Is WhO YoU ArE AnD YoU ReputaioN Is WhaT OtherS ThinK Of YoU!!!
→ 1 HEARTBEAT
When I look at you, my heart skips 1 beat but later that beat could mean a lifetime of tears wasted on some thing i knew i could never have!
→ GIRLS ARE LIKE...
Girls are like phones, we like to be held and talked too, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
→ LOVE IS SO CONFUSING
Love makes life so confusing but without love would you want to live?
→ IT'S OVER
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happend.
→ IDIOT
It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.
→ REALITY
Love Is When You Don't Want To Go To Sleep, Because Reality Is Better Than A Dream.
→ FORGET ME NOT
Under the sea, there lays a rock. In the rock, there is an envelope. In the envelope, there is a paper. On the paper, there are 3 words... 'Forget me not'
→ LIVE YOUR LIFE
When u were born, u were crying and everyone round u was smiling.. Live ur life so that when u die, u're the one who is smiling and everyone round u is crying..
→ MAKE THE BEST OF IT
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everyting... they just make the most of everything that comes along their way...
→ LIFETIME GUARANTEE
I got nothing else 2 offer, so 2 U, it's luv I going 2 send. It's nothing tat I borrowed, it's nothing I’d lend. This luv I’m sending has a Lifetime Guarantee!
→ COMPUTER
A good friend is like a computer; me 'enter' ur life, 'save' u in my heart, 'format' ur problems, 'shift' u 2 opportunities & never 'delete' u from my memory!
→ TEARS
Don't cry for someone who don't worth while; the one who is worth, wouldn't make one cries..
→ SEAT BELT
A Short thing, It gets Longer when U hold it, N pass between women Breasts, N enters into A hole What is it? 1 min 2 think! Car Seat Belt, U dirty mind.
→ DESSERTS
When you are feeling stressed and about to breakdown, just remember: STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backwards.. it's a piece of cake!
→ MEMORIES
Memories is treasured, no one can steal. Parting is heartache, no one can heal. Some'll forget you when you are gone, but I'll remember you no matter how long.
→ DON'T BE SAD
If someone comes into your life and becomes part of you, but for some reason he/she could not stay, don't be too sad... be glad that your paths have crossed.
→ SHINING STAR
You're like a shining star in the cold dark nite, you lead me, you guide me, you makes everything seems so rite...
→ SHE..
She BlinDeD mE wiTh hEr LigHT, it'S SucH A beaUtiFuL SigHt... The WaY She MoVes Is LiKe An AngEl... ShE gOt Me WaLkiNg On Air.
→ I FELL FOR YOU
Excuse me, do u have a Band-Aid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you
→ RUNNING
aRe Ur LeGs TiReD? CoZ yoU'Ve BeEn RuNNiNg ThRoUgH My MiNd aLL DaY LoNg!
→ 911
Why can't a blonde dial 911? Because She can't find the eleven!!!
→ FRIENDS ALWAYS
In this WORLD, where everything seems UNCERTAIN, only one thing is DEFINITE. You'll always be my FRIEND, beyond WORDS, beyond TIME & beyond DISTANCE!
→ WHY IS HE NOT MINE...
wOrLd iS cRueL, LoVe iS bLinD. LoSt iN sAdnEsS, BluR In miND. HeArT iS bRoKeN, fLaMe hAd DiEd. TiMe HaS pAsSeD bUt wHy iS hE... sTiLL nOt mInE...
→ DON'T WANT TO LOST YOU
If yöü cän bé ävöìdéd sìmply by clösìng r éyés, I wöüldn't blìnk ät äll for I dönt wänt to lét ä sécönd päss hävìng löst ä höñey lìké YÖü!
→ CAN'T LET U GO
Höld ä trüé frìénd wìth böth yöür händs, doñt lét gö 4 trüé frìend cömés öncé ìn ä lìfétìmé. Thåt's why ì'm höldìng yoü tight! Cänt lét Ü go
→ NOT TOO YOUNG
No one is too young for love, because love doesn't come from your mind, which knows your age, but from your heart, which knows no age.
→ ANGEL FRIENDS
I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends. I'm surrounded by angels but I call them my best friends.
→ I FOUND U
Love is like a cloud... love is like a dream... love is 1 word and everything in between... love is a fairytale come true... Coz I found love when I found U.
→ NEVER END
If I had a single flower for every time I thought of you I could walk in my garden forever, never finding the end.
→ IT HURTS
It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what hurts more is to love someone, and never find the courage to let them know how you feel.
→ SMILE
You do not know the effect you have on me because every time I see you my heart begins to smile.
→ FORGET YOU
It takes a minute to have a crush, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
→ IT NEVER SEEMS TO LAST
I'm scared to fall in love, scared to fall fast, because every time I fall in love... it never seems to last.
→ MY HEART BREAKS
I could fill a 1000 pages telling U how I feel, and still U would not understand.. So now I leave w/o a sound, except my heart shattering as it hits the ground.
→ A MILLION
A million words would not bring you back, I know, because I've tried. Neither would a million tears. I know, because I've cried.
→ SWEETEST THING
Once Upon a Time, Something happened to me. It was the sweetest thing that ever could be. It was a fantasy, a dream come true it was the day I met you.
→ FALL IN LOVE
People say you only fall in love once, but when I hear your voice I fall in love all over again.
→ CRYING FOR
I cry 4 the times U were almost mine. I cry 4 the memories I've left behind. I cry 4 the pain, the lost, the old, the new. I cry 4 the times I thought I had U.
→ CRAZY FOR YOU
I'm crazy for you. Touch me once and you'll know it's true, I never wanted anyone like this, it's all brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss, I'm crazy for you.
→ NOT TO FADE
Looking back on all these years, all the smiles and all the tears, I never want these memories to fade.
→ YOU ARE THE ONE
You asked me who I liked and I said no one... but what I really meant was no one but you.
→ SLEEP FOREVER
If the only possible way we can be together is in my dreams, then I'll sleep forever.
→ LOVE IS TO THINK
Love is to think about someone else more times in a day than you think about yourself.
→ IN LOVE WITH YOU
There are times when I fall in love with someone new, but I always seem to find myself back in love with you.
→ SOMEONE ELSE
The hardest thing you'll ever do is watch the one u love, love someone else.
→ MASTERPIECE
God created men first, coz you always make a rough draft before a masterpiece.
→ OUT OF MY CONTROL
Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love with you was completely out of my control.
→ MEMORY LASTS FOREVER
A memory lasts forever, and never does it die. True friends stay together and never say good bye.
→ HEART TO CIRCLE
Always draw a circle around the ones you love, never draw a heart because hearts can be broken, but circles are never ending.
Great Quotes and Sayings
